One topic guaranteed to kill the conversation around the table is politics but not when mixed with that most Australian of snacks, the humble sausage sandwich or ‘sausage sanga’.

The country went to a double dissolution election on July 2 and at the time of writing this some days later there is still no clear majority or minority government. The bewildered Australian public looked around for comfort, for the kind of stability only found dripping with sauce between two soggy bits of bread… And this year, quite frankly, Australia’s sausage sandwiches sucked.

“This is what chaos looks like,” former Lyne MP and 2016 Cowper candidate Rob Oakeshott said in the days after the election. Now, he was talking about the country’s lack of government but may as well have described the scene at many polling booths around the country on election day. One of our readers sent in a photo after voting at Newtown Public School and the email probably should have arrived with a subject disclaimer about its horrific contents: a $10 sausage sanga that was 94 per cent purple cabbage with a hint of meat hidden in the corner.

Another reader, again city-based, posted a photograph that sent chills down this carnivore’s spine. This fresh hell’s sausage barely poked out the bottom but what really stung was the shock of salad rocket spilling in every direction from the bun. This was rocket overload, it was sausage sabotage and its lack of patriotism may have even verged on treason.

But the day had barely begun. Next arrived a message from Darlington Public School and it may have broken this meat-eater’s back. Darlo started strong by offering beef and bacon but things fell apart on closer inspection. All the meat was ‘ethically sourced and free range’ which strikes hard at the sosso sanga’s humble, traditional background. Worse still, the dreaded ‘v’ appeared on the menu like a goofy child with no place among the adults. That’s right, Vegan hotdogs, on election day.

There will be those who argue the traditionalist approach to election day food is outdated, that menus should be expanded to cater to the wide variety of people who make up modern Australia and the sausage sanga needs to evolve.

To those people I say this; arguably the most backward political party in Australian history just won 10 per cent of the vote in Queensland. Even if it was under threat from salad and various other strange coloured veggies, I reckon the sausage sanga has the right backers to give a strong showing at the next election. Actually, that election might be sooner than you think…